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How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One/Left in the streets alone at night


Good day,

I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years now ( I'm 18, he's 19).
He's the typical romantic guy, hes perfect most of the times, always showers me with flowers chocolate, romantic letters and songs..
Just 2 days ago, we were at a mall having dinner and all was going great. He offered to pay but i know hes been having money problems and he's been short on cash lately so i offered to split the bill.
While walking in the mall, i kept opening the topic, trying to convince him to listen to me to accept a little sum,( i suggested he'll give them back when he has money to pay me back).
He wouldn't listen and then apparently got so angry that he just told me to shut up and he stormed away.

It started like that, a little fight over money, but then he humiliates me and leaves me walkig alone in the mall doing a big scene.
After that,15 mins later he's calmed down and finds me again and tried to pretend everything is perfectly normal.
When he sees me acting a bit cold and not receptive to his jokes and kisses, he storms out of the mall,into the streets where its raining heavily.
I storm behind him to see where he's going and he asks me why im treatig him like that, i said i feel like i dont know you sometimes. He orderes a cab for me, and just walks away. People all round are staring at us, i call him and shriek after him to come back, but he ignores me and leaves me in a dark ally next to mall alone with a lot of perverts alone.

Thing is i know he had a tough day that day (family issues).

But it seems like what he did is inexcusable.
Where i live the streets are not safe at all for a girl to be alone, yet his anger was bigger than me and my safety.

Is this forgivable, or is it a deal breaker?
I know you can't tell me what to do for no one knows him like i do.
But what i think is that if over something so trivial, and yes with some issues going on with him, he is capable of leaving me alone unsafe without looking back.

Ofcourse he calls me and my family 30 minutes later to make sure im safe,
But i told him i need time. And i still havent talked to him yet.

Im so sorry i just realized how long this is.
Thank you for your time and bearing with me.

Hes a guy im considering long term and even marriage with, but this seems like somethin that truly is a hint for things to come.

Hi Sarah,

Sorry for the delay in replying. Am sure by now you must have spoken to him and things would have calmed a bit. He does care for you and it shows but he has major anger management issues and that can backfire anytime. Why don't you sit with him when he is in a good mood and lay down some ground rules for this relationship? In turn, you can also ask him to define a couple of absolutely no-no situations for you as well. Let him know that come what may, even if one of you had a bad day, you won't break these rules. Just avoid talking about monetary help, he takes it to heart and then goes berserk. He knows you are there as a support and am sure if he needs any help, he will ask.



How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One

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