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How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One/I don't know what to do anymore


Well me and my fiance have been together for a year. We have this amazing relationship where I can go to him for anything and of course he can come to me too. Well last weekend was my birthday and he left his cellphone with me me while he went to work. There was this text on his phone from a number I didn't recognize so I opened it and  read it of course..Well I seen that they had been texting before if went to work but I also realized that if he wanted to hide it he would of deleted the past conversation.  So I decided to call to see who this person was. Well when I called a girl answered and I asked who this was. So she told me her name and I hung up.  So I didn't think much of it. Until his brother wanted to know who I had just called Well I told him and then his cousin wanted to know so I also told him. Well his cousin said "smh he caught" so I was like what is that suppose to mean but if didn't say anything...  then his brother was like don't worry about that girl because I know who it is and she used to stalk him. So once again I stopped worrying. Well I texted her back and asked why she was texting him and she told me they were just friends. So I said okay that's fine and left the situation alone, when my fiance came home that night I hadn't said nothing about it so his cousin Did and my fiance got all pissed off at me. I tried to make him see everything from my point of view but he won't listen. We argued the whole rest of the next day and he kept telling me he wasn't mad about me going through his phone it was just the principle of the fact. What does that mean? I kept trying to get him to talk to me but he wouldn't. It's been like this for 5 days now and it's only getting worse. He can't even hold a conversation with me anymore. I'm so sacred that he will just give up on all that we have worked for in the past. I'm sacred he will be so upset that I will lose him. I try harder and harder each day to get him to talk to me but it just turns into an argument. I also called him a disgrace while we argued one night and I know he is upset about that too. I need to know what to do now and what Did I do wrong? Because not talking is hurting so bad.

Hello, Kiki! I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. However, I do have a question for you, if you said you were okay with the situation and didn't question him any further about this girl he's been speaking or texting with, then why is he still so upset?

Personally, and I'm just going by what you wrote, but I don't feel he is being entirely honest. I understand him being upset with you for texting the girl instead of asking him or talking to him first, but his cousin and brother are the ones that instigated the situation. You didn't even bring it up, his cousin did. You even told him it was okay, and he still got mad at you. That doesn't make any sense to me.

I think the two of you need to sit down and talk. There is something about this situation that doesn't seem right. HE was the one who was deleting messages and talking to someone that you know nothing about. How does HE have the right to be upset with you and blame it on "principle"? That's not being very fair to you. You aren't even questioning him.

If the situation really doesn't bother you, other than him being upset with you, let him know that you are okay with letting it all go and having it never happen again. Apologize for not speaking with him first about it and hope that he gets over it. If he continues to be angry...I would definitely question his loyalty and devotion to you because you're willing to let this go and he isn't.  

How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One

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I can answer questions in regards to relationships, dating, family issues, etc. I, myself, have been through it all. I also have experience working with depression and am a parent so I can contribute advice through the eyes of both a mom, sister, daughter and a friend.


I have battled depression and have overcome a great deal. I have been in serious relationships, one for 11 years as well as one I am currently in and both have been incredibly different, but incredibly eye opening. I have a family of women and relationships are all we seem to talk about. I have also worked in a facility with young women in various types of relationships ranging from abusive to non-abusive. I am a great listener and although I lack any "professional" credentials, I will provide honest and compassionate answers and help to those who need.

I'm just a really good listener and an older sister, a mom, and a girlfriend. I have experience with me.

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