How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One/how to proceed
My fiance and I hardly get along these days it seems, and it really bothers me. it seems like everytime i try to make effort to make things better we get into. i promise you every time i pray about it, try to get along theres an issue. were not affectionate anymore, shes always rejecting me, and im always the one that initiates affection romance etc. i hardly ever feel special or like she goes out of her way for me. shes in her last semester of nursing school so i know shes stressed so i give her that.
well tonite i was helping her with something for class with some type of patient belt. so she told me to fall so she could see if she could catch me, so i fell forward and she started yelling at me, NOT THATS NOT THE WAY, so i yelled back saying WELL U DIDNT TELL ME HOW U WANTED TO FALL! So after that she smacked me HARD in the face. i got so upset, i havent been upset like that ever i told her to never put her hands on me, she then says thats why we cant communicate because i take things to far, and im the issue with our communication. i spent the rest of the night not saying anything because i had to calm down. im still pissed i told her i shouldnt have yelled but she shouldnt have hit me, so she gave me this fast im sorry i hit u apology which pissed me off more
i really dont like her right now, i dont know what to do, please help
Hello, Marco. I'm sorry to hear that you and your fiance haven't been getting along. I do feel very strongly about one thing, no matter if you are a man or woman, it is NEVER okay for your significant other to lay a hand on you. She had no right to hit you no matter how frustrated she may have been. You are both adults and if one person is upset with the other, they learn to communicate their feelings. Physical abuse is never the answer. I don't blame you for being upset with her for it, but the next time she does it, which I hope she doesn't, I would say leave her because there is such a lack of respect when the person you love feels it's okay to hit you.
As for how to proceed, do you still want to be with your fiance and if so, the two of you need to sit down and have a serious discussion about what your expectations are from one another as far as your relationship goes. You two plan on spending the rest of your lives together and if you cannot communicate efficiently, then there is no purpose of being together. You will both be stuck in this marriage and not be able to work through your problems because you can't speak to one another about what is wrong.
I understand that school is stressful, LIFE is stressful, but if neither of you feel that you can speak to one another or go to one another for comfort, then how can you expect your relationship to thrive? First things first....sit down and ask her what is wrong? No matter what it is that she tells you, wait until she is finished before you say anything. DON'T INTERRUPT...also....and this is the most important piece of advice I can give you...listen to what she is saying. Listen and make sure you HEAR what it is she is saying. Once she opens up to you (and remember...try not to get defensive), open up and tell her how you feel. Once you both communicate how you feel, see if you can both come to an agreement on what each of you will do to work on yourselves and what you can do to improve your relationship.
I cannot stress this enough, but communication in ANY relationship is key. If she isn't willing to cooperate or listen to you, then that's when you have to decide what it is you are willing to put up with. You seem to be understanding of her school situation and you understand that she is under a lot of stress. Perhaps she doesn't realize that she is taking out all of her frustration and anger on the person she should be turning to. She might not realize that what she is doing is not only damaging your relationship, but she's pushing you away. ALSO....if she raises a hand to you again...walk away...nobody deserves that type of treatment. NOBODY.. Hope this information helps. :)