How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One/Mother
I love my mother dearly, but recently she has been getting on my nerves. I'm 33 and am starting to get free of my seizures, but she won't really loosen up and treat me like an adult. I know I've made a few mistakesin the past year, but that was only when I was looking for Mr. Right, I've since found him, and he and his family havebeenvery wonderful to me! We live in the same county, but are 45 mins away from each other and have to call each other around his schedule 'cause at the moment he works 2 part-time jobs. I've had my Epilepsy since I was 8 months old. I can see how she wanted me to be near to her when I was a kid, but now that I'm a grown woman and things are starting to get easier(other than her being so protective and controlling-she still wants me to shower with the door open so she can hear me, I don't even have generalized tonic-clonic seizures anymore-if any (and I only had 2 recently when my VNS battery was low and needed replacement) I have my staring seizures-and only when she is around. My Epilepsy was mostly cured after I had my brain surgery and was on the Modified Atkins Diet for 2 years (from October 11, 2010-October 11, 2012). I'm the one in the house(I livewith 2 olderbrothers, ages 36 and 47, and both parents) who does the majority of the chores (I clean the house, do laundry, clean(I'm the only one who does this part with a paper towel) and changeourcats'waterdish,help preparefood, sometimes my mom makes me wait on her hand and foot like a live-in maid! I feel like"Cinderella"sometimes. I understand I live at home and don't have a job, but it's RIDICULOUS because my mom will sometimes tell me how to do those jobs or how fast I should be doing them. Sometimes she'll give me things to do one right after the other, after the other, and expect me to remember every minute detail of what she told me to do-or even bring up from downstairs! I don't mind helping her every now and then, or even doing it for a reward(like she used to do-she'd treat me for lunch or dinner?
Do you see a long term relationship with this Mr Right? If yes, start meeting him and his family more often, that would rid you of the chaos at home. Be available for your friends and cousins much more, start a routine with frequent visits to parks, libraries, museums or whatever you prefer. This way your Mom will get indications that you are a grown up now with your own choices. If you are blunt about it and challenge her, she will take it to heart, so you have to do it subtly. To send out signals why not put up a chart which highlights the tasks that you do every week :) This way your siblings will also notice that you are a responsible woman.