How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One/Marriage proposal


QUESTION: Hello Vani. So my fiancÚ, now girlfriend told me yesterday that she doesn't want to marry me, at least not yet. She said she shouldn't have accepted my marriage proposal a couple weeks back. I am hurt and confused. Up until that point, two weeks ago, she was looking forward to me proposing. Kept telling me she didn't need a ring and would accept my proposal regardless. She is also 11 weeks pregnant. I don't know how to continue with her. She says she loves me. I do believe her, but, how do I recover from this? Any advice on this would be great.

Thank you for your time. Jared C.

ANSWER: Hi Jared

Wish you a new year that brings you happiness and the love of your life. This sudden decision cannot be so sudden, has she been aloof or irritable lately? Was she worried about the pregnancy? Did you both plan out a future together in great detail? It's been few days and am sure you've spoken to her again.  Don't rethink your decision as it came from your heart. Give her some time and space.  She is going through some doubt and may be emotional swings that pregnancy brings.  Write back to me what has happened in past few days.



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hello Vani. Yes, we have spoken since I wrote to you. We talked in great detail about why she felt this way. It turns out it is because I did not seek her father's approval and blessings before I proposed. I knew I should have waited and asked him first. However, he currently is in a coma and it is unknown when he will wake up. He has been in a coma for nearly 2 months now. I was of the thinking that tomorrow is uncertain and anything could happen and that life is way too short, so I went and proposed to her. I didn't want to wait for her father to wake up. And in this regard, I failed her and jumped the gun. So, she still wants to marry me. She said she has given me her heart and soul and just wants me to hold off and ask her dad, when he wakes up, and then propose again. I can do that and will wait. Thank you for your response.

Jared C.

Hi Jared,

This is really great news and you made the right move by discussing it out and not being impulsive. It's love that makes the world go round, so hang on and keep up the faith. Her father will wake up soon and bless you both.



How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One

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Can handle all questions pertaining to arguments/difference of opinion among friends, spouses, family, colleagues. The crux is to understand the causality and personality of the people involved in such a complex situation.


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