How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One/How do i fix what i've done


so, this might take some explaining to do first, the guy involved in this..lets call him Dave and the girl (other than me) we can call Lily, so im friends with both Dave and Lily, Lily is my best friend and had been for years, when Dave came to our school in grade 6 he instantly liked Lily, but from the beginning Lily hated Dave, until October in grade 7, when she told me she liked him, i was really good friends with both of them, so, even though she didnt want me to, i told Dave Lily liked him. Dave was real happy and started texting me 24/7 and asking for advice and whatnot, thats when i realized i liked Dave, and i have ever since. But, shortly after i told Dave Lily liked him, she stopped liking him, but, because Dave didnt know she stopped he kept texting her compliments and things, Lily thought it was creepy, and she would talk to me about it all the time, i had to agree with her that he was, but whenever i talked to Dave he would ask me for advice and things, i kept telling him they could be a really cute couple, even though i really liked Dave, not Lily. Months went bu and by the time grade 8 came, he still liked her, and i still liked him. But it started to get real bad when him and i had this really messed up wierd conversation about girls and guys, Lily saw that conversation and was disgusted by Dave, so she started telling him off and making him feel really bad, Dave would come and cry to me about it so i had to tell him it was all gonna be alright, but at the same time i was talking to Lily about how we would get him to stop liking her. She said we just need to get him mad, of course i didnt want to because i liked him, but when i told Lily i didnt want to make him mad, Lily told me something that her and Dave had been talking about for awhile, and that was me. Everything i told Dave not to tell Lily he told her, so i completely flipped out, i was heartbroken, so i told him that he spent days apologizing until we got back to normal, Lily didnt like that it didnt work, so she wanted to tell the whole class about the weird conversation me and Dave had, i said no, but she told some anyway, Dave was away on vacation when this happened so i didnt tell him much, but by the time he came back, and still liked Lily, Lily had another plan that involved me. Lily wanted us to create a fake boyfriend so that Dave would move on, but i had to be the one to gossip about it and tell Dave, i did. and he was just so hurt, i felt so bad, but i kept going with it until summer came, the summer before we would start highschool together, i wanted a clean plate, so i told him the truth about everything, the boyfriend being fake, all the other lies, he hated me and blocked me on everything, i found him again and told him off because i was mad, i thought i had done the right thing and told him the truth, i didnt want to hurt him because i like Dave, he blocked me again, i found him one last time and asked to apologize, he said he needs a break but i dont think he'll ever text me or anything again. I told lily i told him the truth and she got mad too. i havent heard from Dave or Lily since, i told Lily the truth about everything, except that i like Dave, but he now knows that i like him, that was the last thing i told him in my apology letter.

Now i don't know what to do, im really sad, i feel like i have no one, i know i did the right thing, but it ended so badly, what should i do? i dont wanna lose either of them, i want them in my lives. This happened over the course of 4 years, we are starting highschool in the fall, but i just recently told the truth a few days ago.

Hello Kennedy,

You did what you thought was right at that point in time. If you keep revisiting your decision, you'll constantly analyse yourself.  You only had good intentions but things didn't go quite well. You've given 4 precious years of your life to these two people, but they do not appreciate it. I think it's time for you to give them some space so that they can think. Try your best to not advise them nor even show curiosity as to what's happening in their lives. They are grown up enough to understand and take decisions. Get yourself busy with other friends and your hobbies or music or reading, whatever calms you.   It'll be difficult to forget them but not impossible. Trust me, the moment you show some aloofness, they'll come running to you.



How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One

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Can handle all questions pertaining to arguments/difference of opinion among friends, spouses, family, colleagues. The crux is to understand the causality and personality of the people involved in such a complex situation.


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