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About Jessie Upp, M.S., R.C.
Expertise

Working through the My Way to OUR WAY method, I offer engaged & married couples help with issues regarding love, conflict resolution, anger management, blended families (married with children), parental issues and sibling rivalry.

When in conflict, you might wonder:

Why does he/she DO THAT?!
I just understand him/her.
I can't get them to consistently start/stop!
Why is he/she so upset?
I'm in a lose-lose situation.

If you're stuck, it's because you THINK you have run out of opportunities. I can help you find more!!

Experience

Experience:

Highly experienced in the area of conflict, I believe that families can take full responsibility for solving their own problems, without the need for a long-term third party. I lead an association of counselors who I train so that they can train families on this method (within 5 sessions) and this has made a major difference for many families!

Education/Credentials:
Registered Counselor #RC00059845
M.S. in Management & B.A. in Communications
Formal Education in: Learning, Mediation and Coaching

You are here: Experts > Teens > Teen Advice > How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One > Boyfriend problems

Topic: How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One

Expert: Jessie Upp, M.S., R.C.
Date: 4/27/2007
Subject: Boyfriend problems

Question
I am 13 years old and have been having trouble with my boyfriend for awhile now. We started going out a year ago and have kinda been on and off since. We just can't seem to get over eachother. We just started going out just about a month ago. The 27th of april. Tonight we had this art show at my school; I thought it would be fun to go with him so he said he would meet me there. Just an hour before we left my bestfriend called me and said she needed a ride because she had gotten in a fight with her parents. I said alright and then continued talking to my boyfriend. So then I bring up that my bestfriend is coming and he flipped out. He started yelling at me and calling me a bitch and stuff because he thought I'd ignore him if I went with her. I really try to keep him happy. I ditch my friends to walk with him in the halls in the morning before homeroom. I went to his lacrosse game ALONE and only had someone to sit with for the first half because none of my close friends would come with me. I begged my mom to let me date him again and even risked losing my friends to be with him. And he still pulls the "you don't give a shit about me" routine. We always have this fighting problem like if I want to sleepover a friends house he says I don't care about him because I won't beable to talk to him. I don't know what to do. Please help me.
Sincerely Me.

Answer
Dear Emilie,

I would guess you won't listen to this, but it's worth a try. Your boyfriend has issues that he needs to deal with. You can't save him and if you think you are the one, I'd let him know what YOU need in a relationship and that's for him to get help.

any other way is a waste of your dear time. you're so young and I know you're feeling "love", but I'd question your need to be with someone who acts like this. don't get caught up in his obsessiveness as love. It's not.

Instead, find a group of friends or someone who lifts you up, instead of brings you down :)

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