Working through the My Way to OUR WAY method, I offer engaged & married couples help with issues regarding love, conflict resolution, anger management, blended families (married with children), parental issues and sibling rivalry.
When in conflict, you might wonder:
Why does he/she DO THAT?!
I just understand him/her.
I can't get them to consistently start/stop!
Why is he/she so upset?
I'm in a lose-lose situation.
If you're stuck, it's because you THINK you have run out of opportunities. I can help you find more!!
Experience
Experience:
Highly experienced in the area of conflict, I believe that families can take full responsibility for solving their own problems, without the need for a long-term third party. I lead an association of counselors who I train so that they can train families on this method (within 5 sessions) and this has made a major difference for many families!
Education/Credentials:
Registered Counselor #RC00059845
M.S. in Management & B.A. in Communications
Formal Education in: Learning, Mediation and Coaching
Question Okay, short and sweet:
My husband and I both come from rough-ish childhoods and have brought some bad habits/fears into our relationship. We have a very hard time talking. Talks get angry, not physically violent but lots of yelling, and mostly go unresolved and unhappy. We are in counseling but I am not happy with the results. I feel I work harder at improving myself at these things than he does; he says he feels the same way about me, but he breaks all the rules that get laid out and then tells me not to "hide behind the rules" when I ask him to follow them. (Rules: Be responsible for your actions, don't blame, make I statements, acknowledge the other person, don't yell, allow for breaks, don't interrupt, don't rant, etc.)
I love this man dearly and want to be able to enjoy his good side without worrying over every unpleasant thing we need to discuss.
Help!
Melody
Answer Dear Melody,
Living by rules opens up room for failure, as you might have noticed. Marriage bound by rules may, well, become bounded.
I've written an entire curriculum on empowering others through new language. It starts with getting rid of 3 little words "no, don't and stop" and offers a new way of contributing to each other. Have you ever asked him what he needs and you actually do it - every time? The answer is secretly hiding in your own question, my dear. I welcome you to explore how rules may be building up resentment within your marriage.
Please visit my website www.myway2ourway.com if you'd like to purchase the very short "workshop in a book." I assure you it's nothing like counseling ;)
