AboutStacey Spirito, MS, SPHR Expertise Need help getting your self organized and working more effectively and efficiently! I can help! From dealing with workplace chaos to balancing your life...I can answer questions related to time and information management, organization, memory skills, dealing with stress, and how to flouish rather than frazzle!
Experience Stacey is a Human Resources and Workforce Development professional and consultant. She researches and develops instructional materials with a focus on teaching organizations how to communicate and create a more effective workplace. She has worked with numerous organizations within public and non-profit sectors, designing and realigning human resources and employee development for manufacturing, retail, and service industries. Many organizations have benefited from her insights, including large global corporations, small start-ups, IPOs, and non-profit organizations.
Stacey holds an undergraduate degree in human resource administration and a graduate degree in human development. She is a certified Senior Human Resources Professional (SPHR) as recognized by the Society of Human Resource Management and has been teaching, facilitating, and providing consulting services related to numerous human resource issues for more than a decade. She frequently leads workshops and classes on training techniques, employee development, and human resource issues for civic, professional, volunteer organizations, and at a college near Washington DC. She provides answers and guidance to human resource related questions as an expert on Allexperts.com and writes articles on creative training techniques, development strategies, and human resource issues.
Organizations Society of Human Resource Management
Phi Kappa Phi
Education/Credentials BS - Business Administration
MS - Human Development
I am not even sure where to start! I have my Bachelors and Masters in Music with a focus in Opera Performance and Music History. Upon graduation two years ago, I won the MET opera semi-finals, made the Houston Grand Opera Semi-finals, and took a position with Minnesota Opera as a resident artist. I was, to all appearances, living the dream opera singer life...moving up through the ranks, finding consistent employment, making it! To get there, though, I worked 5-6 jobs while in school, had no health insurance, became divorced under the strain of the pursuit of this career....etc.....culminating in the devlelopment of tumors on my vocal cords right after beginning my contract with Minnesota opera.
I went to 7 ENT's and found out they were non-traumatic, meaning that I didn't cause them (technique, etc), but that they were potentially incurable, and I subsequently lost my contract with the M Opera and moved back to the East Coast.
This was the worst thing that could happen to a singer, and I remember being so overwhelmed with feelings of failure, of utter derailment, but...also...a weird sense of relief. I had never been sure that I wanted that opera life and always felt guilty because I was so obviously good at it and everyone always said I was meant to be 'a star'! I am a survivor though, and within a month of moving back, had found a fulltime job to support myself and did my best to rebuild.
Now, it is two years later. I have moved on to a better job in university administration, have money to pay bills, have a great apartment, healthy and wonderful relationship, have lost 100 pounds, have health insurance.....but am a bit confused and a bit blue! I am singing on the side again, doing oratorio work and recitals and the voice is back up, but I really do NOT want to go back into that world. So many people are pushing me back into it, saying that it would be a waste for me not to get back in...that I have an 'obligation' with my voice to pursue this..that a 'true' musician would keep going, no matter what. BUT...to be honest, it was (is!) a harsh and unforgiving field and I sacrificed so many years to it....and I don't want that lonely lifestyle (constant travel, rootless nature...etc). But, it was the only time in my life that I felt special, as though I had a clear-cut path. I don't know what to do now. I have considered law, teaching, history, anthropology.....have taken so many career tests and met with counselors.....I am overwhelmed with feelings of failure and that I am wasting all my potential....that I need to do something 'big', that I need to do something that reflects my education, my passion for life.....but I am not qualified for much else except higher level admin. support....from past jobs I have skills in proofing, PR, legal research, organization, etc....but none of it seems to pull me. I don't want to teach music, I don't want to do anything in it anymore. I feel burnt out with it.
I am reaching 30 and am scared that I will be stuck in this forever...and I used to have big dreams and hopes and now I feel lost and without a path. My boyfriend is getting his PhD and will be doing this for about 5 more years, and while he is wildly supportive of me and my hopes for growth, I feel guilty because sometimes I am a teeny bit jealous that he has his path, and that I am floundering. I want so much to have a path again. I feel horrible and like a failure to even have these thoughts, though! I should be joyful and supportive and at peace....but I feel so out of whack!
I was always the one everyone thought would make something of herself...and here I am, working a job that doesn't need me to think...around people who are progressing in their educations and careers while I type for them.....and I am scared. Scared that now I am locking myself into a paralysis.....and I don't know what to do!
On the other side, I am generally a very happy and cheerful person and I am trying to enrich other aspects of my life...taking language classes, learning racquetball, taking hikes, practicing my cooking, doing volunteer work....I am trying to soothe my soul....but it is crying for fulfillment and I don't know what to do. I feel a bit trapped and confused, and that renders me paralyzed. I feel as though I am treading water. I know I am blessed, I know I am lucky and I appreciate all life has given me. I just want to feel as though I can give back, with purpose.
I feel so bad asking my friends for their advice over and over. I've been to therapists, career counselors, my poor boyfriend has been wonderful...but I would love it if you had any ideas!
Thanks so much!
Answer Chris,
I appreciate you taking so much of your time to share with me. I'm not certain that I will have an answer to your question, but maybe I can help you find it. I truly believe, from reading your message, that you have it within yourself to determine your path. You are in charge, instead of asking everyone else what you should do, seek that answer within yourself. You can't get it from a book, a test, a counseling session...you have to spend some time searching within.
You had a really unfortunate experience which has a lot of pain associated it with. From the message, it appears that the pain is still very real and not completely addressed. Now it appears that the reasons why not to do things are overshadowing the reason to try something new, old or different.
Your path is right in front of you. What do you find pleasure in doing? What brings you reward (besides the money...true reward = energy)? Forget your age...forget everything...transport yourself to a different time and place...if there was no way you could fail, if there was no risk, if the planets were aligned and all things were perfect....and someone were to ask you "what do you want to be when you grow up"...what is your first response? Your heart will guide you. I'm certain that deep inside you know your path...follow it. Don't worry about what might happen...or what if...you are still young - don't waste another moment. You need to take this opportunity and go - do what you love...and the money will follow.
Why are you typing for other people? Use your talents, at the very least, share your talents. Maybe it won't be in the traditional sense...be innovative. Take the best parts that you like from your passions and combine them. At the very least, get yourself back in the action. Sitting behind a desk watching other people become successful is not a fulfilling life. You got the goods, get back in the game. Put aside the fear and move forward. It might take babysteps...or you just might decide to take a big leap. What ever it is, do it for you and do it with passion.
I hope this was somewhat helpful. If not, or I missed the mark, reply back and I'll give it another shot.
