AboutJakob Expertise I can comment on men's (and women's) personal ads including their photo(s). I can suggest tweaks to profiles to help you get noticed.
Expert: Jakob Date: 5/15/2008 Subject: Personal ads
Question QUESTION: Hello, I am new here. I need some help writing a really good ad. I am not single, I'm a woman and I have a fiance; but I am looking for a girlfriend only for me. I am not that good in English, but i try to make my ads the best I can. I know what qualities I want in a friend and relationship.
Another problem is I have a hard time making up a creative headline to attract women. Another big problem is I specify in my ads no children (besides anyone under 18) meaning someone who are not parents and couples always wanting a 3sum. I do not want a 3sum at all and I specify that in my ads that i don't want one at all. When I post an ad, I am so tired of repeating that I don't want old enough to be my mother, that I want a woman who is close enough in my own age group. how do I specify strongly about that?
In my ads, i use myspace.com to find women. I also want to find women to date from different races, the prob is i dont wanna put it like that because that would make it sound like I am racist. i tell people in my ads that i am not looking for anyone who is hateful, racist, attitude problem, judgmental, shallow, or any of the sort.
I do have a pic on myspace, but it is on private for privacy reasons due to ID theft. Based on what I said, how would I make an outstanding ad so it will stand out for women to see? How would I tell women that I don't wanna show a pic and find out they are shallow at the end?
ANSWER: Hi,
The best way is to write a polite, positive sounding profile that says what you clearly want.
For example: "I am interested in meeting a woman who is between 20-35 years old, and who doesn't have children. I am *not* interested in threesomes. Please do not waste your time messaging me if any of these criteria don't apply to you, otherwise I will not respond."
If you're interested in meeting women from different races then just say so. It's nothing to feel bad about. It's not racist. It's just a romatic preference. For example:
"For my romantic preference, I prefer to meet someone whose background is filipina, portugese <or whatever you want to put>"
Or you can write this, if it applies better:
"My background is xxxx. For my romantic preference I prefer to meet someone whose ethnic background is different from my own"
If you really don't want to put a picture of yourself then put a note at the end of your profile that says that you will share it once you start talking to someone. For example:
"I do have a picture, and I will be happy to share it with you once we start chatting. But if you're curious, my physical description is: <put your physical description, such as 5'4, 29 years old, etc>"
And as for a creative headline, try putting something that decribes you briefly, like something comical or intriguing. For example: "Friendly <or whatever word you feel fits you> female seeking same", or "Amazing connection awaits...for the right woman"
I think it's also good to say in your profile (if you haven't already) that your english is not that good. It just helps people have a better understanding of who you are. You can also include any other criteria that a woman needs to have in order to be compatible with you. And as long as you are equally open about describing yourself, you should eventually connect with someone who is a match for you.
You can also try using sites besides myspace to meet people. They may work better. For example, match.com, lavalife.com, yahoo personals.
Good luck.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: also, should i put in my ad i am not working because i go to school but i dont mooch off of people? i put in my ad she must be a good conversationalist, even though i am working on my own communication too. should i put that there? how long should an ad be?
how do i put in my ad about what size woman i would like? i like skinny, not super skinny to medium size women not large like monique or mimi from drew carey. i dont wanna sound shallow at all, i just have a preference how do i put it nicely?
whats a good concluding sentence? heres what i have so far:
"I may not be your typical woman: I'm the type of woman who loves to enjoy life, make new friends, explore other things, plays video games, always hyper and weird, and love to make people laugh. I have been told by people that I am a really sweet woman, very nice, helpful, and fun to be around. I'm the kind of woman who loves being out 'n' about, meaning going out all the time exploring new things in the city and meeting people.
I'm a 22 yr old bisexual female who has been with her fiance for almost 3 yrs. I am also a college student at SCC studying for my Network Admin degree. I am looking to meet a bi or lesbian woman for friendship first, then if we click move on into being in a relationship, if we don't click then we can at least be best friends. My fiance will not be involved in my relationships with women at all.
My background is African-American. I prefer for romantic preferences to meet someone whose ethnic background is different from my own. I am interested in meeting a <b>single</b> woman who is 18-32 yrs of age, who also <b>doesn't</b> have any children. I am <b>NOT</b> interested in 3sums or couples. Please do not waste your time messaging me if any of these criteria don't apply to you, otherwise I will not respond.
I am looking for a woman who has a high school diploma, is in college or graduate, has values/morals, helpful, creative, artistic, supportive, have a sense of humor, good conversationalist, smart, good person, and will be there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on.
I do have a picture, and I will be happy to share it with you once we start chatting and getting to know each other. But if you're curious, my physical description is 5'1, average build, long black hair close to midback, dark brown eyes, and a nose ring."
Answer QUESTION: also, should i put in my ad i am not working because i go to school but i dont mooch off of people? i put in my ad she must be a good conversationalist, even though i am working on my own communication too. should i put that there? how long should an ad be?
*** Yes, you can put that you are in school. Yes, you can put that she must be a good conversationalist.
*** An ad can be anywhere from 2-5 paragraphs long. But there's no rule for how long you want to make it.
how do i put in my ad about what size woman i would like? i like skinny, not super skinny to medium size women not large like monique or mimi from drew carey. i dont wanna sound shallow at all, i just have a preference how do i put it nicely?
*** You can say: "I prefer women whose body type is slim/athletic to average build."
*** Your profile is good. You may not need a concluding sentence. But if you want you can put something like: "Let's see what happens."
