How to Write a Good Personal Ad/Profile

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Question
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=38405769

How decent is this fill in profile I wrote? I know it doesn't conform to standards and currently might be lacking key details, but a romantic French penpal of mine says it is good and honest. Without being overly critical how could I improve the written profile? I will  add more photos later.

Answer
Hi.  

I have a couple of observations:

1. You are a good looking guy, but the outfit simplly has to go. You can have far more flattering pictures than that. (It's better to have more than one photo).   

2. Your writing has a potential, but it sounds a bit needy or a cry to be rescued. While I can identify with much of what you say, that's not what women will respond positively to. They are not on POF to rescue guys or make them feel like they belong in this world and in this century.

3. I would remove the "I don't know what to write" since you do know.. and focus on writing a few paragraphs that are interesting, or funny and witty. Also, you mention that you don't like to write cliches, but then right after you talk about being open and honest and a few other things that are cliche. While not every woman is going to analyze your profile so closely, some will.   

4. The part about being devoted should also be saved for someone who you already know, love and who loves you back. Otherwise, it's another red flag of neediness that women are trying to stay away from as far as possible.

For more tips on writing a better dating profile, please visit:   
http://www.practicalhappiness.com/category/dating-advice-for-men/online-dating-t


Thanks,

PH

How to Write a Good Personal Ad

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PracticalHappiness.com

Expertise

I can answer the following questions: writing an effective online profile that will stand out from the rest and improving an existing profile; responding to other people's profiles effectively and in a way that would compel them to write back; chosing the best photos and the best ways to describe one's own qualities and traits.

Experience

I have used several major dating sites with great success and helped a few of my friends to dramatically improve their ability to meet people online.

Education/Credentials
M.A. in Philosophy and Logic

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