AboutWordChannel Expertise Welcome! I have a BA in English and 23 years of professional editing, writing, and proofreading skills. I am a full-time freelance writer, editor, and proofreader. I provide crystal-clear, clean grammar; strict attention to style, consistency, flow, logic, accuracy, and spelling, and I work quickly and efficiently. Have a question? Just ask!
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Experience Twenty-three years' publishing industry experience, editorial (print media). I am now a full-time freelance writer, editor, ghostwriter/collaborator, and proofreader. I provide crystal-clear, clean grammar; strict attention to style, consistency, flow, logic, accuracy, and spelling, and I work quickly and efficiently.
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Question Hi Catheine, would be able to proofread my paragraph and give me feed back on how i can improve my peice
The criticism I feel Wood deliberately ignored in order to propose Drums Along the Mohawk as a film which represents America is the economic and often dangerously malevolent movement of Americans. Although he recognizes the priest as a comical tool of Ford, which still illustrates issues, I still find it to be unconvincing that Ford intended this to be a religiously ordained expansion. Although the movie makes no claims of being historically accurate, to state that the American ideology was fuelled by any single religious faction or group is unfair; especially in the North where Drums Along the Mohawk takes place – a place which was considerably more religiously tolerant in the 18th century than the South. Furthermore, Blueback as a sexual being as illustrated by Wood seemed incredibly unfounded and somewhat awkward of a stance to take. Blueback, as proposed in the film is incredibly one-dimensional and is used, almost primarily, as comic relief and a representation of the ‘true path’ that all individuals can be brought to. Despite the clumsy attempt at “ethnic restructuring” however, Blueback occupies a liminal space within the plot where he is neither fully American nor fully Native. It is because of the little development of this character incorporated into the film that I could see little representation of sexuality evident. Wood uses the scene where Blueback is introduced to represent his strength and sexual nature, however, the fear instilled in this scene seems to override any sexual undertones, which could have been at place. Despite what felt like a clumsy claim of sexuality on the part of Blueback, I felt particularly persuaded by Wood’s argument on females. Lana plays a central role and successfully represents many of the ideal ‘male’ and ‘female’ gender patterns throughout the film. The use of the soldier’s jacket on Lana to make her look increasingly feminine, as argued by Wood, I saw as a stretch. Less of her looking more womanly, it appeared as though she was stepping into the role of a male (a ‘male’ that is, as proposed by the film) in defending the fort against the native invasion than anything else. Ultimately, Woods argument is solid and explores the themes of idealism within American society, but he does either exacerbate (in the case of Blueback, and the religious ideology behind westward expansion), or minimize (Lana’s role as a female figure, manifest destiny) certain arguments proposed by Ford in the film.
Answer Dear Tina,
Here's your edited essay: You're a very astute writer with sharp ideas; just needed to shape them up, rework a bit -- hope this helps!
Please change any factual errors, as I edited this out of context, etc.
I believe Wood deliberately ignored criticism in order to propose that the film "Drums Along the Mohawk" represents America as an economic and often dangerously malevolent nation. Although Wood recognizes the priest as Ford's comical tool, which is effective in illustrating the some of the film's issues, I still feel unconvinced that Ford intended this work to be a religious piece.
Although the film makes no claims that it is historically accurate, to state that the American ideology was fueled by any single religious faction or group is unfair, especially in the North, where "Drums Along the Mohawk" takes place. In the 18th century, the North was much more religiously tolerant than the South.
Furthermore, Wood's treatment of Blueback as a sexual being seems incredibly unfounded and awkward. In the film, Blueback is incredibly one-dimensional and is used, almost primarily, as comic relief and a representation of the ‘true path’ that all individuals can follow. Despite the film's clumsy attempts at 'ethnic restructuring,' however, Blueback occupies minimal space within the plot: he is neither fully American nor fully Native. Blueback's lack of characterization in the film makes his 'sexual' nature seem forced. For example, Wood uses the scene in which Blueback is introduced to represent his strength and sexual nature; however, the fear instilled in this scene seems to override any sexual undertones.
Despite what feels like a clumsy representation of sexuality on the part of Blueback, I am persuaded by Wood’s argument regarding females. Lana plays a central role and successfully represents many of the ideal ‘male’ and ‘female’ gender patterns throughout the film. However, the use of the soldier’s jacket on Lana to make her look increasingly feminine, as argued by Wood, seems a bit of a stretch. Instead of her appearing more womanly, she seems to step into the role of a male in defending the fort against the Native invasion.
Ultimately, Wood's argument is solid and explores the themes of idealism within American society, but it is not without flaws. He exacerbates (in both the case of Blueback and the religious ideology behind westward expansion) and minimizes (Lana’s role as a female figure, i.e., manifest destiny) certain arguments Ford originally proposed.
