Where can I obtain software that allows me to set out chapter headings, page numbering, notes and references etc?
Thank you for your question. Microsoft Word is the program. It's the industry standard. If you email a file to someone, they expect Word. Even though it's expensive and we don't like to shovel our money into Bill Gates' pockets, we have to do it. Read the manual to learn all the tricks it does. It is a very talented program. It will do all the things you mentioned.
P.S. Here is my page for writers: